I'm At That Awkward Age Where Half My Friends Are Getting Married, and the other half are trying not to shatter their I-Phone screens

 It was mid-way through my medium sirloin when Jarryd & I somehow ended up on the topic of our wedding menu. Obviously we’d have to have a plan B, seeing as prawn starters would send atleast 3 of our guests into anaphylactic shock. By the time I’d devoured the last onion ring on my plate we’d  finalised date, time, venue, cars, photographer, honeymoon in Vietnam and the 3 various menus. Oh, and the 50 guests, yes, this is my way of uninviting the Random-Three-Times-Removed-Relative-I’ll-Never-Admit-Being-Related-To.

In 20mins we’d planned something that often results in divorce before even getting to the altar. I know it takes a lot more than a lunch date but I’ve got a point… Stop rushing to Keep Up with the Kardashians, stop being so focused on creating the perfect picture and rather focus on living the life you strive to portray. Stop filling up my newsfeed with loveless eyes and empty poses in ridiculous engagement shoots. Why not use that for a deposit on a house and get out of your mother’s basement? Or put it in an educational trust for your kids? Stop being clouded by what you think you have to prove.

In one of my favourite episodes of Friends Chandler describes his dream of a life together with Monica and she immediately sees how fickle she’s been, wanting to blow his life savings on a “party”.

Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y’know? We’ll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.

Monica: You thought about that?

Chandler: Yeah.

Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?

Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.

Monica: What else did you think about?

Chandler: Well, stuff like where’d we live, y’know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y’know, we could have a cat that had a bell on it’s collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we’d have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.

Monica: (laughs) Y’know what? I-I don’t want a big, fancy wedding.

Chandler: Sure you do.

Monica: No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.

Chandler: You sure?

Monica: Uh-hmm.

Chandler: I love you so much.

Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin’ about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.

Chandler: Oh yeah, totally!

Monica: Oh good.

 

I know that life isn’t scripted in a Hollywood studio, but maybe, just maybe if we focused on what really mattered there’d be less divorce, less broken homes and fragmented families.

I don’t want to mention names but recently a friend got married and had the most gorgeous wedding pictures, and you know what made it gorgeous? The genuine love and passion radiating through their smiles and eyes. (Selfie included :))

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for 3 February 2017. Cough. But I know there’s so much more to it than just the paper the invites get printed on and the gift registry at Yuppiechef. Our lives have become so controlled by what other people “like” or “heart” that we forget to enjoy the moments as they happen. 

3 things engaged couples should stop doing to their not-yet-engaged friends:

1)      Asking “So when are YOU getting married?”

2)      Inviting people to weddings nowhere near payday, in a blizzard, or heatwave

3)      Bragging. It’s so not classy.