20 Years after our first democratic election and South Africa has come a long, long way but in many aspects the road is still a long walk to where we need to be. I'm not just talking about race relations, although that's probably where all our problems start. I'm talking about those annoying habits we as a nation share.
1) Staring at mixed-race couples or adopted children. Gawking, actually.
2) Having to put "race" on forms... "Human" should be acceptable.
3) Being subjected to unfair "equality" plans... B.E.E & quotas. No wonder our sports teams do so well, oh wait... cough. CHOKE.
4) "He's *****, but he's clever & speaks English / Afrikaans well" RACIST!
5) Referring to a race group as "them".
6) Following lame trends. Take that dirty old rags off your side mirrors and your stick family looks nothing like your obese, inactive selves.
7) Saying things such as "I'm not racist, but *insert most racist thing you can ever say*".
8) Thinking you're a celebrity on the level of Madiba, therefore you have the right to be a pretentious snob. No-one cares about your daily "OOTD", how many times you have to fly from CT to PE, when you're checking in "at bed" and now you have a Youtube channel with your whining on it? Gosh, are you sure you're not an illegitimate Kardashian child?
9) Not asking the white males in the office to help move boxes or any other manual labour... Yes, THAT happened this week.
10) Going overseas for a 2 week holiday and coming back with the thickest, "foreign" accent you can muster... Waarrrraaa?? Water. Or worse, your Australian cousin comes to visit and now you're a greater Wallaby than her.
11) Supporting the All Blacks. Just leave.
12) Saying meaningless things you have no intention of seeing through: "we must braai sometime".
13) Blaming Apartheid for all that is wrong now.
14) Nobody in your office cares about Isidingo.
15) There's no prize for being the biggest douche on the road. "Pappa Wag Vir Jou"!
16) Remakes of overseas reality shows. LAME.
17) Being a wine snob. Can you even spell Sauvignon (Guess who just Googled her ass off)
18) Inventing a fake middle-name on Facebook - "Pretty Cheeks, Party Princess, No Braincells, I-Didn't-Even-Finish-Grade-9, All-I-Have-Are-My-Boobs"
19) Supporting causes with grand social media vigour but not actively checking your boobs or prostrate or donating ACTUAL money to research for cures. Fat lot of good you not using buckets of MAC did for those suffering, and your moustache just makes you look like Mario or Luigi - The PERV edition.
20) THAT snort. Racist? Mmm... Maybe, But you knew EXACTLY what I was talking about!
Will you marry me? :"))
ReplyDeleteWhen's the date?? :D
Delete21) Not vote for a party just because the head is the same colour(race) as you (also racist)
ReplyDeleteOoooh my favourite! "I hate Zuma. But I'm voting ANC."
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI just laughed my ass off at my desk so thank you for that, now i'll go home and clean poop off of a little persons butt and it wont suck as much. Hashtag, Legendary!
ReplyDelete