23 Things I’ve Learned In 23 years

1)      Your mother might be your biggest critic but she will defend you to her grave. “They’re just jealous of you.” Seemed like the biggest lie to my 9-year-old ears but it got me through the self-haircut/fringe and the over-the-knee 6^th Grade skirts.

2)      There is no pretty way to eat. Also, never wear white pants when consuming ribs, chocolate or ice-cream. Actually, don’t wear white pants. Ever.

3)      Listen to someone’s answer when you ask “How are you?” I mean REALLY listen!

4)      Do what makes you happy, I know way too many people who have died before the age of 25. Nothing is guaranteed you might as well make yourself happy.

5)      You won’t regret that extra slice of pizza.

6)      As long as you keep moving…

7)      Your best friends are part of your greatest achievements.

8)      You’ll value the moment, much more than the price. (Thank-you Jarryd for showing me that over & over this past year)

9)      Never underestimate the power of a laugh that takes you to the brink of wetting yourself.

10)   Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Embarrassing moments? What are those?

11)   Your siblings are your greatest allies…

12)   Except when they’re your worst enemy.

13)   Never stick your finger in a sharpener or a green crayon up your nose.

14)   There is no crappier feeling than regret.

15)   People don’t care half as much, as you think they do.

16)   Even Jessica Alba gets airbrushed.

17)   There are only 2 types of honest people – drunks & 5 year-olds

18)   It’s not the jeans… It’s your butt.

19)   There is no greater joy than removing bra and pants after a long, hard day.

20)   Perhaps only topped by 3 month varsity holidays

21)   Caramel Vodka, Tequila & Jagermeister are not your friends… But they give pretty good story openers.

22)   There are thousands of things to be grateful for each and every day!

23)   You’re not gonna be 22 forever!