Most people think that because of my sunny disposition and smiling
nature that I am an optimistic and agreeable person. This is only "half"
true. While this might be the case 97% of the time, the other 3% I am
either a cynical realist or just a cold-hearted [insert expletive of
your choice - my mother has her favourites, I can't say them as I cannot
spell most of them]. I wasn't always like this, I blame my interactions
with other humans for my general attitude that "ëveryone is stupid
until they prove otherwise". Most people use the saying "life is short,
live it fully"; I like to say "life is too short to be stupid". Before I
get bashed for calling people stupid, I'm not talking about formal
education, I mean the everyday things that people do that annoy others
but no-one ever says anything... till now:
1) As Much As You Want To Believe It You Are Not Better Than Anybody Else
You might have more money, brains (I use this term loosely), possessions, friends and hair than the next person but unless you are the Mother Theresa to their Hitler, you are equal in every single way. Therefore, stop bragging... It's annoying and just makes people think you're stupid.
2) Your Facebook Album Titled "Me" Will Never, Ever Be A Portfolio
Sigh. This might surprise you, but unless your profile picture is a dumb car we already know what you look like we don't need 205 pictures of you in various bathrooms and dressing rooms (with phone in hand, and clothes you have yet to pay for or just about to put back on the rack). Real classy!
3) So You Only Listen To Underground, Undiscovered, Under-rated Music Aren't You Just The Cool Kid?
So what if other people like music with words in it and not just bass and noise? So what if it's "commercial" as you snobbishly say. I didn't know there were so many Doug Morris's (CEO of Sony Music) and professional music executives running amok. Also, whenever an artist comes to perform [in SA] stop the "Since when is everyone a fan of ********??" get a ticket and go or shut up and don't.
4) Freeways Are For Driving, Not A Leisurely Stroll At 75km.
Ok, this is perhaps just an outlet for my road rage, but please, it's 7.15am and there's nobody in front of you for atleast a km, let me get to work and beat the traffic!
5) It's 2013, Stop Dressing Like It's 1993
There's no excuse for having no sense of style, I'm not saying you have to join the Armani Army, just lose the red skinny; red t-shirt; weird, ornate belt buckle and red Chucks combo - you look like recession, skinny Santa :/
6) Not Being Familiar With Sarcasm, Humour or Popular Culture
PLEASE read a book, or just watch the news, or do something slightly educational... Your "LOL" responses in convos are the bane of my existence.
7) Justin Bieber has a Lambo, What do you have Hater?
This constant need to "hate on" celebrities confuses me, unless your criticism is directed at Bafana Bafana (who now seem to think everyone loves them) it falls on deaf ears... Get a life!
Now go forth and be awesome!
Just for some laughs:
"Overheard" in the office this week so far:
"For R6K he can atleast give some tongue, or just a top lip lick" - Name Withheld (On Meet and Greet Justin Bieber Tickets)
"Who flirts by saying 'Salaam a laykum'??? That's like saying "Jesus Christ" in a sexy voice" - Faiza (My new token Indian)
1) As Much As You Want To Believe It You Are Not Better Than Anybody Else
You might have more money, brains (I use this term loosely), possessions, friends and hair than the next person but unless you are the Mother Theresa to their Hitler, you are equal in every single way. Therefore, stop bragging... It's annoying and just makes people think you're stupid.
2) Your Facebook Album Titled "Me" Will Never, Ever Be A Portfolio
Sigh. This might surprise you, but unless your profile picture is a dumb car we already know what you look like we don't need 205 pictures of you in various bathrooms and dressing rooms (with phone in hand, and clothes you have yet to pay for or just about to put back on the rack). Real classy!
3) So You Only Listen To Underground, Undiscovered, Under-rated Music Aren't You Just The Cool Kid?
So what if other people like music with words in it and not just bass and noise? So what if it's "commercial" as you snobbishly say. I didn't know there were so many Doug Morris's (CEO of Sony Music) and professional music executives running amok. Also, whenever an artist comes to perform [in SA] stop the "Since when is everyone a fan of ********??" get a ticket and go or shut up and don't.
4) Freeways Are For Driving, Not A Leisurely Stroll At 75km.
Ok, this is perhaps just an outlet for my road rage, but please, it's 7.15am and there's nobody in front of you for atleast a km, let me get to work and beat the traffic!
5) It's 2013, Stop Dressing Like It's 1993
There's no excuse for having no sense of style, I'm not saying you have to join the Armani Army, just lose the red skinny; red t-shirt; weird, ornate belt buckle and red Chucks combo - you look like recession, skinny Santa :/
6) Not Being Familiar With Sarcasm, Humour or Popular Culture
PLEASE read a book, or just watch the news, or do something slightly educational... Your "LOL" responses in convos are the bane of my existence.
7) Justin Bieber has a Lambo, What do you have Hater?
This constant need to "hate on" celebrities confuses me, unless your criticism is directed at Bafana Bafana (who now seem to think everyone loves them) it falls on deaf ears... Get a life!
Now go forth and be awesome!
Just for some laughs:
"Overheard" in the office this week so far:
"For R6K he can atleast give some tongue, or just a top lip lick" - Name Withheld (On Meet and Greet Justin Bieber Tickets)
"Who flirts by saying 'Salaam a laykum'??? That's like saying "Jesus Christ" in a sexy voice" - Faiza (My new token Indian)
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