I often wonder if in another life I was a football hooligan, running amok in the streets of the UK with a Vinnie Jones demeanor, Carragher attitude and Rooney mouth. However, I've only ever been in detention twice in my life. The first time was football related, the second something about my nails being too Frenchly manicured. I was in Primary School (the first time) when I got in trouble with a group of boys for playing soccer in a restricted zone and then kicking my silver football on the garage roof. It didn't help that I was a prefect at the time. This was the beginning of my "one of the boys" initiation.
Whenever I find myself in a heated debate it somehow always has something to do with Manchester United, or pseudo-New Zealanders who live in South Africa. And it's not until the opposition realises that I know what happened that night in May 1999 at the Camp Nou, or that I know Jonah Lomu, before they back down. (Do you know how difficult it is to try and think of a way to incorporate "Ole-Gunnar" into your future son's name?!)
That is why on the eve of the biggest sporting rivalry kick-off (not to mention the Rugby World Cup next week) I'm very glad that my boyfriend and I are on the same team. He doesn't scoff when I swear at players, lines-men, ref or medical staff, or when I complain that some wanker is slowing the game down. Maybe that's because he's afraid of my Hulk-Girl hidden personality or it's because he knows my love for certain teams is second only to him and my family. (or that my Utd trivia is slightly superior :P)
I wish this transcended to the rest of the world though. All I want is to be able to walk into a bar with my supporter t-shirt on and not have eyes look at me that think "she's doing it for him".
Sure enough, there are females who pretend to like or know sports for the attention or praise of men and usually they don't last till half-time and are more than happy to carry drinks. (Men pretend to love sports too, although that's just to fit in, and possibly sadder).
But whatever the reason, loving sports, or even just enjoying it together, has ways of bonding people for life.
1) Make all the snacks together. For one, no-one will be stabbed with a Dorito and secondly SOMEONE will remember the ice.
2) Don't start a quiz night when you don't agree with someone's opinion OR think their opinion is of less value. (I know this grates my partner-in-United-love Tavia just as much as me)
3) Don't pretend to like it if you'll rather impale yourself in the eye. I can't ever get back those wasted overs and day 3's spent wishing cricket was more exciting. 6 minutes of excitement crammed into 6 hours :/
4) If you are on a first date and trying to impress learn some fun facts it will throw them off-guard.
WAZZA!!!
5) Remember that there was a time when someone had to introduce you to the sport as well.
6) Don't just say "I don't like sports" because you don't understand it. Chances are your partner is dying to explain it all to you. (Besides the fact that they're, of course, the expert) I do appreciate knowing where Damian De Allende is supposed to be (centre or wing) so I can capture these golden moments:
7) Go to a live game. One of the top 5 feelings in the world is participating in the Mexican Wave.
8) Don't be a "spoilsport" with the hate-statuses if you're not interested in sports events, no-one cares, they don't even care if you ARE interested. "Sigh, I hate all these soccer statuses" sound familiar? Get a life.
9) The offside rule is not an unsolvable algorithm. And Drogba is ALWAYS faking it.
10) Predictions?
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