Wingardium Leviosa

I'm very excited about my first ever "Guest-Blogger" Post... About 11 years ago my best friend sent me a letter detailing how she would like her next boyfriend to behave. She wrote me a letter even though we sat next to one another, because we were just short of banned from talking to each other in class - frankly I don't know how we passed primary school so well! Anyway... the only words I remember are "he should make me tea, and fetch me things," of course having no previous boyfriend experience this pretty much seemed the standard criteria and I agreed that such a specimen should come along soon... Then we met boys, men, guys, douchebags, gentlemen and some more douchebags and all the trouble started! But Caz is determined to find that tea-making boyfriend out there!

Chivalry is NOT dead.

By: Caz Stoltenkamp (@CallMe_Caz)

"Who killed chivalry? They need to get their sentence in." - Drake (Fear)

I've been single for some time now (four years and some spare change, but who's counting) so every year when February comes around for its annual visit, my general disposition is slightly more bitter than sweet. The shopping centres are decked out in disgusting shades of red and pink; I am confronted with cheap, shitty heart stickers at every turn, and the general air of love just affronts me. This year, though, I decided to dispense with the boo-hoo-I'm-single attitude and treat poor ole Feb just as any other month. 

So there I was, minding my own business and finding amusement in fellow singles' bitterness towards Valentine's Day, when a wild Cupid appeared! Now, I've never been particularly fond of this fellow. I find him to be incredibly suspicious - a creepy winged dwarf shooting at you? Hell naw. (Does he even have a licence for that weapon? Or a Visa to be traveling so freely? Are those adult diapers? These are questions that need answers. I'm just saying...) 

But anyway. Let's not get sidetracked here. 

So Cupid pops in for a chat. And as I said; he's not my favourite character. Far too many times has he directed me to the willing arms of douchebags and I was, quite frankly, sick of his shit. So it was not without a generous dose of sceptism when I accepted someone's surprise request to meet up for drinks. I wasn't expecting to be asked out on any dates but - being the hopeless romantic that I am - I decided to trust Cupid for old times' sake. 

The meet-and-greet for drinks went surprisingly well; he was smart, funny, charming, and everything I generally look for in a guy. This obviously raised the alarm; when did Cupid decide to look out for a sister? But yeah, we get to chatting and agree to have a follow-up lunch date, and I'm finding that I really quite like this guy. He addresses me with respect and treats me like a lady. Opening doors for me, pulling the chair back for me, politely declining my offer to split the bill. That was all very strange for me though, I definitely was not prepared for the company of this chivalrous man and what a complete delight it was!

Ok, I'm not saying I'm suddenly in love - oh, goodness no. I'm just saying that that lil fatty with the bow and arrow did some good for a change. I had all but resigned myself to the opinion that gentlemen no longer existed, because women generally don't get treated in such a fashion anymore. Not in my experience at least.

So this change in pace is welcomed, and also, enlightening. Here's a collection of truths I've gleaned from my rather vast dating record:

1.       As women we walk a tightrope of endorsing a confident, independent attitude whilst at the same time trying to exude a ladylike demureness about ourselves. This is conflicting in nature, of course, and for some reason guys like to be stingy with compliments; or, package compliments as an underhanded insult. As a grown woman I still have that little girl inside of me who likes to dress up and look pretty, and I like receiving compliments about it. A real gentleman will tell you quite simply that you look beautiful, without the unnecessary additions.

2.       Why do we, as ladies, gravitate towards the 'bad boys'? It's a problem, and I certainly don't have the answers - since I've frequently been caught in that poisonous orbit - but I have learnt one thing on this matter: STAY AWAY. Aint no bad boys looking for love! You know the type; arrogant, self-centered, an inferior simpleton of epic proportions - the usual. 

3.       Instead of looking for those endearing qualities you want in a guy, work on a process of elimination: find what you DON'T like and tick them off your hypothetical list as you go. This way, if you find your list to be rather filled out, you can deduce immediately that he/she is not for you. 

4.       Date. Explore the goods on offer, because you really won't know what's out there unless you sample a wide variety.

5.    Finally, and most importantly, be patient and be prepared for a couple more douchebags. But don't let these abhorrent specimens discourage you, Cupid has a reputation for having strange timing - you just never know when it's your turn. 

 *****

Caz is a 22 year old with an awesome view and opinion of the world. She's a nerd with tattoos. Straddling that line between cool & uncool because she likes to live dangerously. For more follow her on twitter here and head to her cowbird page here

 <a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4872359/?claim=8tb9d7y8vcz">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>