Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Why She Seemingly Hates Your Female Friends More Than Your PS3

Early on in a relationship, once the initial interview stage is over, there comes a time to delve deeper into the life of your significant other. Meeting the family, hearing about ex-es, dropping the first laugh/fart/cough combo, are all important milestones in the early stages but the ultimate test comes in meeting the "friends".

For the guys, meeting her girlfriends is pretty much a walk in the park. As you were charming enough to land her, it goes without a doubt that unless you are visibly an axe-wielding murderer your smile is bound to melt their hearts in no time and you're more than likely to be greeted by "awwws". Her guy friends won't give you too much trouble either, as long as you support the same football team as them, aren't a pansy and don't make her cry, you'll be fine.

On the other side of the coin, of course when she meets your guyfriends she'll pass with an A+, she has boobs. Case closed. (And she's probably higher than a 7 all-round)


Nevermind your mom, or your ex, it's your female friends she's weary of, because in her mind they are automatically labelled as "potential threats". (Truth be told she is probably over-analysing, but that is the female way...Sorry ladies...) Not only is your female friends the ones who will help pick out your girlfriend's birthday gift, but they also know you since Nam and when you still thought dungarees were cool... So your girlfriend starts at a distinct disadvantage more often than not.

Although most men will never look at their female friends as anything more than cool dudes with long hair, your girlfriend will often view them as one would hungry wolves.


Having both been friend and girlfriend I've come to a little conclusion and hypothesis: Although some females will protect their male friends as one would a brother, there are the odd few who have the innate ability to simply create and enjoy havoc...tread carefully.

So here's my titbits to all those involved:

The Boyfriend:
1) Introduce the girlfriend to the "girlfriends" as late as possible (get her to like you so much that her innate hate is clouded)
2) Don't leave her alone like a zebra carcass in the lion's den
3) Make sure your female friend is indeed a friend and wing-woman and not your wannabe-woman-on-the-side

The Girlfriend:
1) Don't go "crazy-stalker"
2) I repeat DON'T GO CRAZY STALKER
3) She really is just a friend, if he wanted her to be more, she would be

The Boyfriend's Female Friend:
1) Be the sister he sees you as
2) Leave the inappropriate whispers, touches, high-pitched, private-joke giggle, hair tossing, etc for the single guys
3) Just take a little step back
4) Don't try to do any sabotage a la Julia Roberts circa 1997 in My Best Friend's Wedding

That hair? No thanks!