65 Days & only 9 Mondays till Christmas - Time To Grab Your Dream Crates & Gift Boxes

With so little time before the holiday rush starts, now is actually the best time to start exploring wishlists and gift-lists. Whenever I think of gift-giving I think of boxes (or a generously padded envelope.) One of my smaller pet-peeves is actually a gift bag, it's often limited, used for re-gifting and frowned upon when you try to rip it into confetti. 

I've seen that the latest trend is to actually create a subscription "box" service that consists of all sorts of goodies - foodie boxes, beauty product boxes, date night boxes - and now Geek Boxes! (My top pick would be Loot Crate - you can check out their different monthly subscription offerings by clicking here) PLUS! They ship to South Africa!!) Perfect for when you have a BF that fancies himself a sharp shooter (too soon?) or Speed McQueen, or even a Jedi Master... My geek obsessions include anything Direwolf, Dragon or Deadpool related :) 

Also, now that Le Boyfriend and I are feverishly saving every penny for Turkey we've told everyone not to expect anything more than a hug under the tree or mistletoe this year. (& if you didn't know, now you do) But even so, we still like to imagine what would fill our stockings so I've compiled my very own "Dream Crate" - the ultimate mix & match of his & hers - from Loot Crate - mostly cos I can't resist making lists. I think it's a big one; it might even need a DeLorean or two to transport it to my door:

1) Looney Tunes Mug

Being a 90s kid means I'll always have a soft spot for this "chick". And it's the perfect way to brand my crockery at work!

2) Death Star Bottle Stopper

The ultimate way to pause a party! 

3) Avengers Coasters

WHO better to defend surfaces against unwanted rings?

4) Spellbook Wallet

This way I live out ALL my fantasies - being Hermione AND being organised!

5) GOT Dragon egg USBS

Who needs to control all the realms when you control all the documents?

6) GOT Direwolf plush teddies

Ever walked into a meeting or your office and wish you could have a Grey Wind or Ghost by your side? Now you can! (and they might book you off for a mental breakdown too - YAY!)

7) Harley Quinn 2017 Calendar

Instead of only dressing up as Harley for Halloween why not let her inspire your entire year? 

8) Deadpool holiday clothing

So cheesy but oh-so-cute - the perfect way to get  some couple shots to use for future Christmas cards!

9) Joker Poker Set

For those nights when Uno starts to get a little intense, why not mix it up with higher stakes?

10) Star Wars Backpacks

I'd like to see the pick-pocketer brazen enough to take on a Stormtrooper!

'Tis the season - and let's hope that whatever you decide to fill your gift boxes with this year - it doesn't get returned or exchanged in 7 days - Remember that no matter what, time spent & love given are the only gifts of true value <3 Enjoy the way too soon holiday music & tinsel!

7 more lessons from Gran - and she's not 36 #FactNotAStatement

I owe so much to my Grandmother . Not only my love for Manchester United & my ability to get the bed pillows standing just right, but for who I am as well. My love of story telling comes from her epic tales of my grandfather, the whaler seaman, who, when angering her would feel the wrath of her temper by having ornaments flung at his ear.

Besides her quirky sense of humour, which she claims doesn't exist, my gran has a way of making anyone in her company feel at home. Along the years she's tried to instill qualities in me and for the most part I think she got it right. (Except for the sailor's mouth I seem to have acquired - although reserved for when the temper strikes). She's taught me so many things, and some I just can't seem to forget, not for lack of trying!

1) Always wear clean, matching, non-broken underwear when going out.
Because you never know if you're going to be in an accident!

2) Eat all the cake and carbs, cos someone will still call you fat.
Mostly her, herself, as she offers me more.

3) It's more important to be happy than to be rich.
But when you're rich make sure to help others feel happy. Also it teaches you the real value of things, not the price.

4) Traditions are necessary.
Whether it's hanging Christmas cards from bygone years across the lounge on a string, or making individual trifle puddings in fancy glasses rather than a bowl of mush. It's the little things that make the best memories.

5) Always treat people with respect.
You never know what battles they are going through. (Or who they might be one day.)

6) Always return Tupperware with a treat in it.
And most importantly, RETURN the Tupperware!

7) And most of all, she taught me class!
And that is by far the hardest one for me to live... especially when every fibre of my being wants nothing more than to tie your intestines around your neck :)

Oh, Frikkadel! The One Where Murphy Waits for Us to Make Meatballs.

In any normal family, food is a bonding experience. Whether you're hiding snacks from each other; wishing you could dump mashed potato over their head or simply enjoying a meal together, it's a time to enjoy togetherness. Obviously, my family isn't normal (what do you expect, they produced ME, after all)...

I'm by no means a superstitious person. I stroke black cats (only Jet actually); I walk under ladders (mostly 'cos I'm short enough to fit underneath), and so far the number 13 has been rather good to me (except that my paternal gran was born on Friday, 13th April and died on Friday 13th September.) *cue creepy dum dum dum musical notes* But I digress...

Over the past few years something strange has happened everytime someone in our family has made frikkadels (Traditional South African meatballs, usually served with mash and veggies, where the leftovers are doused in Mrs Balls (chutney) for an awesome sandwich filling the next day). Everything from robberies; stabbings; car breakdowns and even 1 death (not from eating them, thankfully) Which has led to us apprehensively calling them "Badluck Frikkadels". Never mind the incident of the "mincing of words" that led to my grandfather receiving a raw one straight between the eyes. (Apparently it was going to be the pan).

Ultimately, we still make them and each time the recipe changes and just gets better, I suppose like anything it's about what you make of it, bad-luck or not, they always eventually bring out a smile or laugh.

Here's a rough idea of my recipe (it changes depending on my mood):

INGREDIENTS

500g-1kg  minced extra-lean beef (depending on how many frikkadels you want can yield about 24)
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1-2 slices white bread soaked in a little water (this was a trick I learned from my gran)

1 tsp ground paprika; meat masala; chilli powder; and any other spice the mood calls for. 
1 tsp salt
½ tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 eggs, beaten

METHOD
Combine all ingredients together and mix well. Best is to use your hands.
Shape into 3-bite-sized balls by rolling and slightly flattening the mixture into balls.
Heat the oil in a non-stick frying pan and brown the frikkadels on both sides.
Cooking time varies but usually between 3-5mins depending on the size.
Serve on top of creamy garlic mashed potatoes.

I used to Like Captain America cos he was hot; now I Love him cos he has Substance

There's no denying that the Superhero franchises are not giving us the chance to escape their clutches this year. From the moment Deadpool burst into our lives re-born (and mother-f*íng awesomely) created we knew we were in for the cinematic equivalent of finding extra fries at the bottom of your food bag. Ryan Reynolds managed to recover from the mess that was Green Lantern (where the only plus was him meeting his baby mama, Blake Lively.) Deadpool is not for everyone though, PLEASE don't watch with any prudes you may know.

Coming down from the high of Deadpool : Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice made me regret ever walking into the cinema. It wasn't that the movie was inherently bad, it just wasn't as good either. It left me feeling... NOTHING. I'm not excited for the next; I'm not sitting in anticipation for the story to be constructed; nothing. Absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, DC made the mistake of trying to create a "Marvel Universe" in 1 film (with very little dialogue & terrible dramatic pauses), whereas Marvel took 8 years to build up to the climax, cue: Captain America: Civil War. No guesses for where I fall in the Marvel vs DC debate as of late.

Captain America: Civil War

The Plot: 

"Political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability when the actions of the Avengers lead to collateral damage. The new status quo deeply divides members of the team. Captain America (Chris Evans) believes superheroes should remain free to defend humanity without government interference. Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) sharply disagrees and supports oversight. As the debate escalates into an all-out feud, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) must pick a side." (Summary by Google :)) - Yes. I'm that lazy today!

The Review:

Critics are saying that this might be the best Marvel Universe film in the entire series. And although that might seem extreme, I have to agree with them. Not only was the story so well conceived and weaved with everything that came before (& most importantly, what's still to come) but it was just plain & simply enjoyable. The usual amount of wit & humour was upped (probably by the inclusion of Paul Rudd as Scott Lang / Ant-Man and Tom Holland as Peter Parker) . 

The action "more believable" and instead of overly dramatic pauses to prolong fight scenes,  we had genuine feeling and emotion from the characters. My favourite new inclusion into the mix would be Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa / Black Panther:The prince of the African nation of Wakanda. Not only because of his fluent sounding Xhosa but also how he totally embodied the Wakandan Prince / Panther role. 

Another one of my favourite character's-that-have-been-given-more-scope is Emily VanCamp as Sharon Carter. I like that Marvel hasn't rushed her into a relationship with Cap, but instead are allowing them to "get to know each other", like any normal relationship would develop. I also enjoyed that she's been toughened enough to be in the same scenes as Black Widow. Strong female characters often get lost in the throws of male ego, but these femme fatales hold their own. 

I really enjoyed the villain choice with Daniel Brühl as Helmut Zemo. Although he seemed to only play a catalystic role rather than antagonist  it didn't really matter. With a Tarantino film in his repertoire it's hard to imagine why we don't see more of him. One of my other favourite movies he's done is of course, Rush, where he played a young Niki Lauda. 

Overall I enjoyed the movie thoroughly and think that phase 3 of the Marvel universe is off to a very good start indeed. I fully intended to be #TeamIronMan but somewhere along the line and somehow I felt myself being pulled over to the "Dark Side" of #TeamCaptainAmerica . You'll have to draw your own battle lines though. The pure quality of story-telling & movie making has got me excited and enticed for Doctor Strange later this year.  All I ask is that, for the love of Aunt May's hotness, please don't ever leave the cinema before the final credits (& secret endings!!! duh) have rolled on a Marvel film, you won't be disappointed. (Just nerd out like cosplayers at comic-con).

Stop Forcing Yourself On Me

After a 4 month hiatus I'd like to say, "I'm back, b*tches" But let's not make any promises.

Calling 2015 a "difficult" year is by far the nicest thing I can say about it. Now that 2016 has passed the quarter mark it seems "difficult" was only the first rung on the ladder of "oh, well, shit!" All the #ThingsToLeaveIn2015 has conveniently been forgotten; new years resolutions lie discarded in dustbins outside Virgin Active and people are still, literally, the worst.

All I want is people to just back off and chill, I'm so done with so many annoying behaviours, but so far this is my Top 5:

1) People who think they're entitled to know / comment / give advice on every detail of my life.

It's no longer cute when people ask "When are you A) Getting married B) Getting a house C) Populating the Earth with awesome minions of destruction (with good hair)? " It's frankly annoying. Cos there's only so many ways for me to say "I don't know" and then their "Agh, shame, *head tilt*" kinda kills the conversation. In the meantime, people will just have to be content with pictures of my dogs and honey nut lattes if there's a need to dissect details of my life.

2) People preaching to me

You know the old saying "Sitting in Church doesn't make you a Christian; just like standing in your garage doesn't make you a car"? I really wish people applied this principle. Whether I'm praising God, Allah, Buddha, or Ra it has nothing to do with anyone else but me. (So please stop coming up to me at funerals and asking what church I belong to like it's a cult or you're selling it like an Avon product) Some of the "evilest" (I'm trying to use this loosely) people I know, religiously attend church; proclaim in every way to be a Christian, but wouldn't give a starving man stale bread. I'm sorry, but I'd rather be a good person than a religious one. And when it comes to judgement day I know St Peter and I will kick it laughing and saying "Boy, you had a good run."

3) People who waste my time

Fickleness, Fakeness, Flakiness, all of the "F"s... When we started dating (for the 2nd time) Jarryd told me something that stuck, and I now use as a rule: "If it's maybe - it's always no". And that's how I make all of life's important decisions - If I would rather be re-reading Harry Potter in bed on a Thursday night, then that's where I'll be.

4) Racism, Sexism, Homophobia-ism - every form of -ism

South Africa celebrated Freedom Day this week, I've spent 22 of my 26 years as "Free". What utter bull. Racism is as rife as if Hitler, Verwoerd and Jim Crow are still alive and kicking (lynching or gassing works too). When will it ever end? Does the next generation have a hope in hell of being equal? Or has segregation and discrimination been so deep rooted into our DNA??

5) Mark Zuckerberg and his cronies coming up with "Facebook memories"

Just when I think I'm getting somewhere in life, in swoops a pigeon to dump on my parade. I'm probably guilty of checking my Facebook memories atleast once a week, it's like scratching at scabs you're not supposed to touch. And everytime I do it, I only have 3 thoughts:
1) You weren't as fat as you thought you were. (Now you ARE)
2) WHY did you think incorrect grammar and spelling was cool?!?
3) F#@$, *DELETE*

11 Things I Wish I Could Set As My OUT-OF-OFFICE Reply, But Can't Cos I Might Get A Date With HR.

1) Bye Felicia 

2) My inbox is already filled with your BS, that I'm never going to respond to...

3) My people will contact you, from the other side...

4) This person REALLY doesn't care

5) Sorry this gave you false hope of a swift & enthusiastic reply

6) LOL, k, cool x

7) If I've not responded in 24 hrs I've kidnapped myself and gone here:

8) The person you're trying to reach is currently not giving two sh*t$

9) "Does not choose to accept this mission"

10) Monkey on a car!

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